Friday, October 17, 2008

Safe and sound?

My beautiful people of my book club (Letchworth Boo to our friends) talk a load of nonsense. I mean this in a complimentary way... but they do. We have a group email address and exchange conversations about the best book/film adaptation, worst ever Bond actor or ‘what we have done today to make us feel proud’ which can last days. In fact I believe the Bond controversy lasted a whole week.

Anyway yesterday’s discussion centred around airport security and as usual a number of the contributions made me giggle into my muesli, so I thought I would share. I am sure Boo will forgive my plagiarising.

It started when Sam (a motorsports journalist who travels extensively to races) announced to everyone that on rummaging through his flight bag after a recent trip he found his multi-tool (pliers, knife, saw thing) which had been through Gatwick security without a single raised eyebrow. There were then a few emails discussing Sam’s resemblance to a”typical” terrorist profile (obviously vaguely “foreign”, male, unshaven... you know the type ;-) when Felicity (the epitome of a blond English Rose) pointed out that her lethal Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream and mascara obviously posed much more of a threat;

“It's lucky they were around to point out that I had failed to put them into a see through plastic bag, or who could say what could have happened?”

Our resident intellectual lecturer Melissa then revealed that she had spent two years (and 7 odd flights across the Atlantic plus a number of European hops) carrying a 10” bread knife gift from her mother in her laptop bag (as you do).

Felicity then upped that with a friend of hers who managed to persuade El Al to let him get on a flight with a Sami hunting knife... for cultural reasons. She also exposed the name of the airport where “the revolution” will kick off (omitted here for security reasons!) Apparently when their security guard has a day off sick, they just put a sign up by the metal detector asking you just to go through to your gate and straight onto the plane. Terrorist heaven....

I contributed my own story about lunchboxes going unsearched (so you have a free reign to ambush a plane with your yoghurt spoon) but emery boards (cardboard and sand constructions to file your nails) are confiscated and should not be risked.

However, our UCL lecturer won the day by announcing that she once set off the bomb alarms with a dundee cake in a tin when flying down from Scotland. I wonder whether the security guards confiscated it to “assess closer” during their 11am coffee break?


Melissa said...

Fame! fame at last! ha ha ha

Jim said...

Well, judging by last nights little to-and-fro at Fiumicino my belt and shoes are deadly compared to the astonishing array of weaponry displayed by the Boo crew.

Felicity said...

Next flight from Gatwick on Monday-I'll keep you posted :) x

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